Facebook is Down… We are Through!!

Be forewarned, there is an unnecessarily long text/bbm exchange below that was pared down some, but difficult to alter too much without losing how fricken insane I am/was. Whatever… I have no problem admitting my mental defects :)

Last week, the ever popular social networking site, Facebook, went crashing to the ground. Many profiles were temporarily disabled; Clark’s being one of them. However, before this happened there was a series of other events…

I noticed that our cat, Kip, had become friends with Kralc on Facebook (yeah yeah, the pets are on it). Kralc? That’s a weird name. Clicking on Kralc’s profile, I noticed his primary photo was a hand, looking like Clark’s, holding a cup of coffee… our cups! What?! Who was this Kralc who has broken into my house, kidnapped my cat, and taken a photo of his hand?! Who WAS HE?! Oh… Kralc. That’s Clark backwards! Wait, what? Being a nosey Nellie, I poked around a bit and came across Kralc’s news feed, which told me he had just become a high rolling member of FrontierVille, or something stupid like that. Um…….. really?

Becoming somewhat incensed (is my husband really so pathetic that he needs to make a fake account to play a stupid game?! REALLY?!) I went to look at Clark’s profile when I realized… he was gone! Missing! Vanished! What the fuck? So now, I no longer think there is anything sad about FronteirVille, but rather am somewhat convinced that Clark is living a double life as Kralc and cheating on me with some whore who wants to steal my pets! WHAT?! Oh, keep in mind I am highly caffeinated on this particular day, pretty frustrated with work and really desperate for a nap. This led to a text message conversation that went something like this (spelling errors actually happened, kept for effect... this is how much of an insane lunatic I was… so sad):

Nancy: Why did you make a fake fb acct? Cheating on me?
Nancy: Wtf? Why are you not on fb anymore?
Nancy: Ya douche
Nancy: I'm unm3ried now
Clark: ???
Clark: Hi
Clark: Its not that secret
Clark: I got a new junk emailaccount too
Nancy: You're weird. You need a new acct for your gf prob
Nancy: And you unmarried me on that stupd page I'm closing my acct
Clark: What page
Nancy: Fb
Nancy: Pathetci!!!
Clark: I hope your kidding
Nancy: No really you unfriende me and no longer exist
Nancy: And I think you're pathetic for needing to play a game so you make annew mpage. That's just sad!
Nancy: I cannot find you on fb. Stupid. These sites ruin relationshops
Clark: what are you talking about
Nancy: Um I can't see you
Clark: I can still see you and we're still FB and real life married
Nancy: Not onmine
Nancy: U prob did something
Nancy: Ugh
Clark: ?
Nancy: Whateev
Nancy: I'm blogging about this
Clark: I didn't block you and when I go to view how you should see it I'm still there
Nancy: Kralc has a gf. Admit it
Clark: How do you do a screenshot in chrome?
Nancy: Um same way on any comp ctrl + prtscn
Nancy: You being on fb and "married to me" has nothing to do with your alternative life and girlfriend!!!!! Just an fyi
Clark: Hmm I prob just don't know where it saves to
Nancy: don’t you want to be a programmer??? Ctrl+v
Clark: Paste?
Nancy: Yes. Into a doc. Duh

Nancy: You have yet to deny gf
Clark: She's in the bedroom right now
Clark: Very high maintenance
Clark: Eats bison dog food

Oh. My. How is it that we have let ourselves become so wrapped up in social networking sites that we would absolutely lose our minds and not trust our friends, significant others or family members based on a stupid thing like a post, picture, "like" or something else? Having pretty much been on these sites since freshman year of college, I don't know anything else - I hardly remember what it was like to only be able to communicate by texting, never mind twittering, fbing, emailing from a plane, etc. But what makes me more nervous are all the younger kids getting on when they're 13 or so and are becoming a generation of narcissistic cuttlefish! This could be reason enough to stick to 4-legged babies. Sigh, I know Clark is faithful, but Kralc? Well, he just has online video game addictions. And not even GOOD video games! Either way, I suppose I need to embrace Kralc too... after all, if Kralc didn't play FrontierVille, I'd never have time to write a darn thing.