The Magic Oven Drawer

It’s not every day that Clark cooks dinner for me. Not that he can’t, but cooking is something I really enjoy doing so usually I cook and Clark cleans – it works out wonderfully!

Not so long ago, we moved into a new house. It’s a pretty small house, but bigger than our apartment was so it’s a win overall. However, one major flaw in the house is the proximity of the stove to the smoke detector. Without fail, the smoke detector goes off at least once a day. On the bright side, at least we know if there’s ever a fire in our house we will be safe; on the down side, we’re all going slightly deaf and considering throwing the damn thing out (which would then make it all very un-safe).

Finally, we decided that we should run a cleaning cycle on the stove to get rid of cooked on crud; hopefully eliminating the excessive smoke that plumes from the oven on a nightly basis. While we were preparing the oven (removing pans, etc.) Clark asked me how the drawer will get clean.

“What drawer, honey?” 

“The drawer that we broil things in.” 

“Oh, you mean the broiler pan… we can’t leave it in, we’ll use a Brillo pad.” 

“No, the other drawer, the one underneath the oven.” 

At that point I look at the stove, excited to find out we have a hidden warming drawer that I didn’t know about before. Searching for one, I get disappointed. All we have is the storage drawer that we keep extra baking sheets in. 

“I don’t know honey… maybe that was a stove in different apartment.”

 

At which point Clark opens the storage drawer and says “no THIS broiler drawer! This is where I tried to cook something, but it didn’t get hot enough so you took over. Don’t you remember that night?” 

Being a bossy pants, I try and take over every time Clark cooks, so unfortunately I couldn’t recall that particular evening. Frazzled I racked my brain and asked what we had that night. To which Clark replied “I was trying to cook meat but maybe I forgot to tell you that, so you made pasta.” 

“Honey……….. what ever happened to what you were trying to cook in here?” 

“Um…………. Oh…. Whoops.” 

Our entire oven, storage drawer and all received a thorough cleaning that night.

Dishwasher - Half-Full or Half-Empty?

My New Communication Approach- Flow Charts

Earlier this week, I asked Hans to empty and fill the dishwasher while I put Gigi to sleep. As usual he told me he would "do it later."

I decided to choose my battles and let it go. I also decided that I would not remind Hans of his promise to "do it later," as I often do. Some may call this nagging, but I call it a necessity because Hans has hopeless ADD and literally forgets everything. It is not at all annoying. But reminding him gives him the out to say "Jeez, I am going to do it, stop nagging me," which leaves me with nary a leg to stand on!

Out of Sight - Out of my Mind

Many thanks to my sister for reminding me to share one of the most classic Hans stories of all time.

Hans is a computer guy. He is also a hoarder, messer, leave things all over the place-er.

When we lived in our first apartment, we would go many rounds about the cords, hard drives and memory sticks that covered every surface of our house. The kitchen table, the counter, the coffee table, the sofa- literally everything.

One day, I handed Hans some computer thing that had been sitting on the kitchen table for over a week. I didn't know what it was all I knew was that I had seen it enough and it needed to go someplace else. I handed it to him and said,

"Please go put this away, right now."

Everything IN the Kitchen Sink.....or the Bathroom Sink

Hans is absolutely adamant that he does not make a mess at our house. He thinks I am the messy one, and while I am not a clean freak (although lately I have started to become one thanks to a cocktail of vitamins and going to sleep at 8 pm) I am not the messer, simply because I clean up after myself these days. Whenever I complain about how he leaves stuff everyplace and never throws anything away (but rather leaves it on the counter next to the trash can) the ONLY things Hans has to throw back at me, is that I hang my purse on doorknobs. It has been the ONLY thing he has consistently had to complain about my messiness for the past 7 years, whereas I have a list nearly as long as Santa's naughty and good lists combined.

Reduce, Reuse, Re-Drive Me Crazy

I grew up poor. Not living in our station wagon poor (that is a serious matter, have you seen that commercial? double ugh)- but having hydrox instead of oreos, and never seeing a Q-tip until i got to college because they were an extravagance that didn't make it into the shopping cart.

Thus I grew up treating paper towels like gold. Towels that you use once and throw away? What a strange concept- then you need to buy more? Why not just use real towels and wash them when you are done? Like the pilgrims and the pioneers?

This is why my darling husband, Hans, and I have inherently different feelings about the proper use of a paper towel. I did not know about this or his intensely annoying paper towel habits until after we moved in together, and by that point it was too late, because i REALLY HATE MOVING- so i wasn't going to do it again.

Welcome, Please Wipe Your Feet... Wherever.

Here we go, ready to launch the next greatest outlet for frustrated wives in dire need of advice. So, how will I introduce myself? Let's see... I'm Nancy, first-time wife, dog-mom, not a real mother (yet), sleep deprived, gainfully employed and full time husband caretaker, house maintainer, bill payer, dog-poop-picker-upper, grocery shopper, laundry do-er and chef.

Things I really enjoy include: wine under $15 a bottle, a home cooked meal, undisrupted sleep, a clean home, a full tank of gas, crime TV (a la Criminal Minds, NOT Judge Judy) and highly caffeinated beverages.

Things I really do NOT enjoy include: knick knacks, clutter, dust, sticky surfaces, pet hair on everything and mismatched socks. And herein lies the reason we are here today...